We all have this one spot where we go to whenever things don’t go right. I’d like to call it the dark corner. To me it is a safe place, silent and alone, yet not lonely. I usually visit this spot once in a short while to see how dark it gets through time, or how brighter it becomes after putting so much effort to light it up. Even though we all have it, it is various from person to person. And it is caused by different factors in life.
Have you ever felt empty while you have everyone around? You feel that you don’t even belong there/here. You sound hopeful yet you know it’s a denial. You tell yourself every day that life must go on whether you want it or not; it doesn’t stop here, or unless yo… well I don’t have to finis the sentence, do it? Don’t be a fool. Even if you die, the problem will not solve itself; it is passed to others, worst, it might be passed to the people you love and care for the most. Still you are in your dark corner and looking for a way out, still haven’t succeeded.
Have you been told that you are a loser? Have you been thought to be successful and turns out the opposite? Has anyone said something like ‘I thought you were my only hope’ to you? Read the question again, slowly this time.
I bet we all have been through this and yes we have that dark spot where we appreciate so much that you don’t wanna share with anyone, not even with your partner. Special! I sometimes feel guilty for not being able to share my thoughts in a straightforward way. I can’t. I just am unable to express it the way common people could comprehend. All they do is judge.
I’m quite pessimistic and hopeless, but it’s funny that I teach people to be optimistic and hopeful. Here the irony is. I only try so that others might be motivated and start it over. They don’t deserve to swim through thing like I have been experiencing. Am I passive? Yes. Because all I wish to see in others is greatness and joy. I can’t now. I am all alone on a boat paddling on an endless lake. I can’t be thinking too much about others. I have to live. Like my previous post, I encouraged others to be selfish because I know people aren’t like us, seeing the world as a better place for everyone. They see us as a door mat they can step on and feeling no guilt whatsoever.
This dark corner of mine starts to show itself: I’m pissed. What is so wrong about being pissed? Non. You only become who you are, the real one. The worst thing is that I’m a passively pissed person; I don’t go around pouting my fingers on others; I take it all, by myself. Stupid, sometimes I call myself.
It’s too dark here. I can’t even see what I typing.
You heard me, how is yours?
Meanith Notes 