It is always a good idea to sit down and reflect on what has happened. Tons of good and bad things happened whether we want them to or not. We can’t change what already occurred, so we at least acknowledge it and move onwards. 2019 was a long year to me. So many things came into my life, successes and failures. Here are some of my throwbacks.
First of all, I learnt that working hard doesn’t always pay you off. Sometimes you have to be more selective, when to work and when to rest. The unsung-hero idea sounds great, but it doesn’t pay the bills. Some of us are born good people; we work hard and hope one day we will be noticed and recognized; however, reality doesn’t always do you justice. You are only acknowledged for your work on a rare occasion; the rest is just false hopes and dreams. BE SELECTIVE. I mean know when you should show off your skills; don’t just waste them on something that might not be seen or heard. By saying this, I am intended to provoke anyone to drop their work and be slagging. On the contrary, proform your work above the bar, but don’t let yourself be a slave.
I did not only learn to work with passion, desire to be better, and target-based performance, but I also learnt that you had better be a lot more SELECTIVE with people around you. Being able to befriend with people who benefit your future goals is a life hack. I am not trying to make you start seeing your friends as some cookies you can take advantage of, yet I am telling you, from my experience, that you might regret later not having the right connection when you need it the most. (I’ll talk more on that in the next post.)
Besides working and friends, the next part is gonna sound controversial. Yes, money makes life way easier. I was too young to understand, or you can say I was naive when it came to being an adult. I looked at the world with an optimistic pair of eyes. I thought working hard, being honest and nice, and being respectful will help me achieve a life full of happiness, a true one. I was halfway right. 2019 had me invalidate that prior opinion. Everything mentioned above really does make life happy. However, believe me or not, with money or with little of it, you are just BEING POSITIVE about life, at least to the majority of us. We tend to conform to the environment. Say we don’t have enough money to enjoy a two-week trip in Hawai; we simply compromise it by claiming that we can also be happy at home chilling on our 5 years old sofa and watching our favourite shows which we downloaded from one of the torrent websites. Yes, life if simple that way, isn’t it? MINIMALISM, you might say, doesn’t bother me. In fact, I am one of the minimalists myself. Thinking from another perspective, if you are rich and have a lot of money, being minimalist is a choice, your healthy choice, not forcing yourself to sound like or become one. Living paycheck to paycheck isn’t healthy. I wake up every morning thinking about any ways possible to make money besides waiting for my paycheck. All in all, money equals choice; more money means more choices. Life is easier and happier when you can choose, not trying to lower your standard and compromising your dream.
Another lesson is that your friends may distance themselves while you forget that you have also been stretching away, too. You don’t really see your behaviour changing, but you are mostly aware of how others treat you. I came to realise that distancing is also a part of growing up. We all have an ideal perspective toward friendship. We all want to keep it as long as we possibly can. In contrast, we all are busy with our own lives, family and future. How about excepting that fact and be true to ourselves. We are not trying to run away from our friends, but give them and ourselves time to pursue our dreams, to stretch and to grow before coming back together. As being said, we should not abandon each other completely. Be less demanding and be more thoughtful.
When you grow up, having a partner is an unavoidable, unforeseen event. This might not be always true for some, but most of us. Be prepared. There will be almost always something to discuss. Sometimes you have to choose between the love of your life and your parents or siblings. It is a part of adult life. If you are able to balance it, you are safe, but if you aren’t able to, don’t panic. We all, at one time, experience that, so be calm and seek the light. There is always a way out. By having a partner, your life, your routines and the way you live, starts to change, more or less, better or worse. Every time you decide on something, you don’t only decide for yourself, you now have to think as two. That might bother you at first. Sooner or later, you will be accustomed to it. It is great to stay as you are, but from what I have learnt so far, it is called self-centred or you are just being selfish. You do it because you love it. Doesn’t it make you feel good? Yes, but you might fail to live as a couple. If you haven’t been able to accept the two-persons thinking or decision making yet, stay single. You don’t want to either hurt yourself or your partner.
The last great lesson from 2019 is PAYING ATTENTION TO PEOPLE AROUND BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. Always keep in mind that everyone can leave any time, any moment. Only when we lost someone who we think is important to us, we regret how little attention we gave. Frankly, we seem to take people around us for granted because we feel comfortable to not care so much about others. This sounds contradictory to the idea I raised earlier, but you should always be aware. I know it since I have done it. I neglected my friendship, and it cost me a friend. I lost a friend, a great friend, a good listener, and an honor person in general. I lost him to the darkness, the saddest of all. 2019 left me with a black mark on my chest. Only when I learnt the news about him that I regretted not making enough time for my favourite people who always support me. Nothing changes now. He is gone and he left me a lot of memories and I have to carry to my own grave.
2019 feels like yesterday to me. It was a long year that slipped through in a blink of an eye before I even noticed it. Things have changed tremendously that I couldn’t comprehend. The only thing I can do for now is to start thinking about how to make 2020 a better year and live the life I always want. New projects coming up.
Happy New Year to everyone! May 2020 do you good.